When can my child decide where and with whom they live?

Call 0345 872 6666


When can my child decide where and with whom they live?

We are often contacted by parents asking at what age children can decide for themselves where they will live after a divorce or separation. There are lots of articles on the internet about this, and a good number suggest that at a certain age e.g. 10, 12 or 16, a child can make their own decision. This is not the case. As with so many aspects of family law in England & Wales, how much weight is given to what a child says about his or her future will vary according to the circumstances of the particular case -there is no set rule.

When making a decision about where a child lives, with which parent and/or how a child's time is divided between their parents, the court must always take an objective overview of what arrangement is in a child's best interests, and what will best serve his or her welfare and needs. What the child says is just one of several factors the court must assess when making this decision. Whilst there is a general assumption that the older a child is, the more weight his or her wishes will carry, age alone is not the deciding factor. We have seen cases where young children have been allowed to make very significant decisions about their upbringing, and much older children, well into their teens, whose wishes have been overridden.

In deciding how much weight to give to a child's views, the court will consider, amongst other things, the following matters:

  • How old is the child?
  • How mature are they for their age?
  • Have they been influenced in their views?
  • Do they understand the implications of their decision, good and bad?
  • Have they really thought about their decision, or have they just said something in the heat of the moment?
  • Do they understand the context in which they are making the decision?
  • Have they been able to explain their reasons?
  • How might the child be affected if his/her views are ignored?

The court will also consider the gravity of the decision being made, for example, a child may more easily be allowed to make their own decision about small and less fundamental aspects of their upbringing, than about a more significant decision. Once the court has decided how much weight to attach to the child's views, the other factors set out in the Children Act 1989 welfare checklist will be considered, to help the court decide whether what the child wants is really what is best for them, and whether it will best meet their needs in the short and long term.

There are various different ways in which what a child is saying and why can be ascertained and communicated to the court, and it is always important this is done in a child-centred and non-pressured way. To understand the different options available, both within and outside of court proceedings, see our other blog posts about children law, and children's wishes & feelings.


Here, Beverley Jones outlines to what extent the court can take children's wishes into account when deciding child arrangement matters.

TALK TO US

For legal advice from our experienced and dedicated family law solicitors, get in touch with us by calling 0345 872 6666 or complete our online enquiry form to request a callback.

Did you find this post interesting? Share it on:

Related Posts