The loss of a baby during pregnancy or birth is a heartbreaking and traumatic experience and, while much attention is rightly given to the immediate grief families experience, the long-term impact of stillbirth is often less understood.

For many parents, the trauma does not end when they leave the hospital. The emotional impact can affect every aspect of life, from mental wellbeing and relationships to finances, employment and future family planning.

The Birth Trauma Association, recently carried out a survey for Birth Trauma Awareness Week, to find out the ‘true cost’ of birth trauma. Many of the findings from the report are reflected in the support that I have provided to multiple families coming to terms with a stillbirth. I have seen first-hand the profound and lasting effects that the trauma of a stillbirth can have.

The psychological cost of stillbirth

Grief following a stillbirth is profoundly complex. Parents are often grieving not only the loss of their baby, but also the future they imagined with them. Many of the families I have supported have described feeling that life was divided into "before" and "after" the loss of their baby. The emotional impact often extends far beyond the months immediately following the stillbirth.

In my role as a clinical negligence solicitor, I meet parents months and sometimes years after a stillbirth. One of the things that continues to strike me is that the passage of time does not necessarily lessen the significance of their loss. Whilst the rest of the world may expect parents to have moved forward, many continue to carry the psychological impact of what happened every day. Conversations frequently return to milestones that their child would have reached.

It’s common for both mothers and fathers to experience:

• Anxiety and depression

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (‘PTSD’)

• Feelings of guilt or self-blame

• Difficulty sleeping

• Panic attacks

• Fear of becoming pregnant again

For some parents, returning to a maternity unit, attending baby-related events or seeing other families with newborn children can trigger overwhelming emotions months or even years after their loss.

Future pregnancies

One of the most significant challenges that I hear from clients is the fear surrounding future pregnancies. Even with reassurance from medical professionals and a promise of enhanced monitoring, many parents find it difficult to trust that another pregnancy will be truly safe. Mothers routinely report struggling to enjoy their pregnancy. Routine scans, appointments and milestones that should bring excitement can instead become sources of anxiety. In the Birth Trauma Association's survey 44% of women who experienced birth trauma said that they would not have more children after their traumatic birth.

Over the years I have acted on behalf of many bereaved parents who have later decided to try for another child. Whilst every experience is different, I have also seen the positive impact that compassionate, personalised care can have. Many clients have spoken warmly about the enhanced monitoring and support they received during subsequent pregnancies and the reassurance that this brought during an understandably difficult period.

The financial cost of stillbirth

The emotional impact of stillbirth is often accompanied by significant financial pressures.

Many parents find themselves unable to return to work immediately following their loss. Some require extended periods away from work due to grief, depression or trauma-related conditions. Depending on their workplace sick pay policies, being off work can place considerable strain on a family's finances.

Additional costs can include:

• Private counselling or therapy

• Travel to medical appointments

• Prescription costs

• Childcare for siblings while attending appointments

• Reduced household income if a parent leaves work or reduces their hours

Families may also face unexpected additional expenses relating to funeral arrangements, memorial services or creating lasting keepsakes in memory of their baby.

In England, bereaved parents can access the Children’s Funeral Fund. The scheme is run by the government and is not means tested, which means that eligibility does not depend on income or savings. At the moment there is no equivalent scheme in Wales, but local Health Board bereavement teams can advise on area specific arrangements and any local schemes which might be available.

The social cost of stillbirth

People who experience a stillbirth can feel isolated. Friends and relatives often want to help but may not know what to say. Some people avoid discussing their baby altogether, while others unintentionally minimise the loss. 46% of respondents to the birth trauma survey said their relationship with wider family members had been affected.

Parents can feel disconnected from their social circles, particularly if friends are raising young children or celebrating milestones that highlight what they have lost.

The trauma can also affect personal relationships. Whilst some couples find strength in supporting one another, others develop different coping mechanisms that can create tension and misunderstanding. Communication can become difficult when both parents are processing grief in their own way. 70% of respondents to the survey said experiencing birth trauma had put a strain on their relationship with their partner.

Some parents report:

• Withdrawal from social activities

• Loss of confidence

• Breakdown of friendships

• Relationship difficulties

• Feeling misunderstood by others

• Increased loneliness

The social effects of stillbirth are often overlooked, but they can be just as significant as the emotional impact.

Many bereaved parents find comfort through support organisations, counselling services and peer support groups where they can speak openly with others who have experienced similar losses.

Connecting with people who understand the reality of baby loss can help families feel less alone and remind them that their grief is valid.

Practical advice for parents following a stillbirth

While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are steps that may help families navigate this difficult period:

• Give yourself permission to grieve: There is no timeframe for grief. Some days will be more difficult than others, and healing does not mean forgetting.

• Seek professional support: Counselling, bereavement services and specialist trauma support can provide valuable coping strategies and emotional support.

• Talk openly about your baby: Many parents find comfort in speaking about their baby, sharing memories and acknowledging their place within the family.

• Accept help from others: Whether practical help around the home or emotional support from loved ones, accepting assistance can ease some of the burden during an incredibly difficult time.

• Be gentle with yourself: Returning to normal life takes time. It is important not to place unrealistic expectations on yourself during the recovery process.

When answers are needed

For some families, questions remain about the care they received during pregnancy, labour or delivery. While not every stillbirth is preventable, there are occasions when concerns arise about whether opportunities to identify or respond to risks may have been missed.

Seeking answers can form an important part of the healing process. Many families tell me that understanding what happened provides a sense of clarity and helps them move forward.

Seek the help you need

The impact of stillbirth extends far beyond the day a family loses their baby. The psychological trauma, financial pressures and social isolation that often follow can affect every aspect of life for years to come.

It is important to recognise that bereaved parents need ongoing support, understanding and compassion, not only in the weeks after their loss, but throughout their journey of grief and recovery.

For those who have experienced a stillbirth, please remember that you are not alone. Support is available, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. While the pain may never completely disappear, with the right support families can find ways to navigate life after loss while continuing to honour the memory of their baby.

There are numerous charities available to help following a stillbirth or traumatic birth experience, including The Birth Trauma Association, Sands and Tommy’s.