This Sunday is National Aunts and Uncles Day; a lovely reminder of just how important the wider family can be in a child's life. I am an aunt to three wonderful nieces myself, and I know first-hand what a special bond that relationship can be.

But what happens when that relationship comes under threat - when a grandparent, aunt, or uncle finds themselves cut off from a child they love, often as a result of a family breakdown or falling out between the adults involved?

The good news is that the law does allow extended family members to seek a child arrangements order in these circumstances. Applications by extended family members are less common than those made by separated parents, because in most cases, extended family will still get to spend time with a child through the parent they are related to. A grandparent, aunt, or uncle on the father’s side, for example, would ordinarily expect to continue seeing the child during the time the child spends with their father.

The court process depends on who you are and understanding that distinction matters.

Who can apply automatically for a child arrangements order?

Certain people are entitled to apply for a child arrangements order without needing the court's permission first. This includes:

• A parent, guardian, or special guardian of the child
• Anyone who holds parental responsibility for the child
• A step-parent who has treated the child as a child of the family
• Anyone with whom the child has lived for at least three years
• Anyone who already has the consent of everyone with parental responsibility

Grandparents, aunts, and uncles do not automatically fall within these categories - unless they meet one of the criteria above, such as having cared for the child for a significant period of time.

Who needs the court's permission first?

Where someone does not have an automatic right to apply, they must first ask the court for permission - known as "leave" - to make an application. This applies to most grandparents, aunts, and uncles who wish to apply for a child arrangements order but do not meet the criteria above.

This is not usually a difficult hurdle for a grandparent, aunt, or uncle with a genuine and meaningful relationship with the child to overcome, but it is an additional step in the process that must be navigated correctly.

What orders can extended family members apply for?

Once permission has been granted (where required), an application can be made for a child arrangements order - which can determine who a child spends time with, and how much time they spend with that person. This is often what grandparents, aunts, and uncles seek when contact with a child has been unreasonably restricted or stopped altogether.

Resolving disputes without going to court

Court proceedings are not always the right starting point. It is important to try to resolve disputes without the need for litigation, wherever possible.

There are several routes worth considering before making a court application, including:

Direct discussions - where relationships allow, having an open and honest conversation directly with the parent or parents involved can sometimes resolve matters without the need for any formal process at all.

Mediation - a trained, independent mediator helps both sides work towards an agreement. Mediation can be particularly effective for extended family disputes, as it focuses on preserving relationships rather than escalating conflict. A family mediation voucher scheme is currently available, offering up to £500 towards the cost of mediation, regardless of income. This usually covers a minimum of two mediation sessions, though the amount it covers can vary depending on where you live and the type of mediation used, for example, “shuttle mediation,” where each party is in a different room, can cost more.

Solicitor negotiation - where direct discussions or mediation are not appropriate or have not succeeded, solicitors can negotiate on your behalf to try to reach an agreement without the need for court proceedings.

Arbitration - a private and often faster alternative to court, where an independent arbitrator makes a binding decision after hearing from both sides.

Where agreement can be reached through any of these routes, it is usually the better outcome for everyone involved, not least the child at the centre of it all. Court proceedings remain available as a last resort, but they are rarely the first step that should be taken.

Why contact with grandparents and extended family matters

The relationships children have with their wider family - grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other important adults - can be hugely significant to their wellbeing and sense of identity. Where those relationships are put at risk, often because of a breakdown between the adults involved, the law provides a route to protect them.

If you are an aunt, uncle, or grandparent who has lost contact with a child you love, please do get in touch to discuss your options. An initial conversation costs nothing.