Domestic abuse does not always involve physical violence. In some relationships, one person may gradually take control over the other person’s finances, relationships, work, communications or everyday decisions.

This pattern is known as coercive control. It can leave the person affected feeling isolated, dependent or afraid of the consequences of acting independently. The behaviour may be subtle at first and can be difficult to recognise when individual incidents are considered separately.

Under the law in England and Wales, controlling or coercive behaviour can amount to a criminal offence where it is repeated or continuous, takes place between people who are personally connected has a serious effect on the person experiencing it, and the perpetrator knows or ought to know that the behaviour will have a serious effect on the victim.

This guide explains what coercive control means, the types of behaviour that may meet the legal test, how the pattern may affect someone after separation, the evidence that can be relevant and the legal protections available through the family courts.

If you believe that coercive control may be affecting your relationship, our domestic abuse solicitors can provide confidential advice about your position and the steps available to protect you and your children.

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is a repeated pattern of behaviour used to exert power over another person and reduce their independence.

It may involve:

• Monitoring where they go, who they speak to or how they spend their time
• Isolating them from friends, family or other support
• Controlling finances, work, travel or access to services
• Imposing rules about everyday life
• Using threats, humiliation or intimidation
• Making them feel they need permission to make ordinary decisions

The key point is that coercive control is about the overall pattern, not one isolated disagreement. Individual actions may appear minor on their own, but together they can create fear, dependency and a loss of autonomy.

Coercive control can happen without physical violence, although both may occur together. It can affect people of any gender or background and may arise between current or former partners, as well as between family members.

It is also different from manipulation in a general sense. Manipulation may describe a single attempt to influence someone. Coercive control is sustained behaviour that increasingly shapes how the other person lives.

When Is Coercive Control a Criminal Offence?

Under section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015, controlling or coercive behaviour is a criminal offence in England and Wales when four requirements are met:

• The behaviour is repeated or continuous
• The people involved are personally connected
• The behaviour has a serious effect on the person experiencing it
• The person responsible knows, or ought to know, that the behaviour will have a serious effect on the person

The law looks at the pattern as a whole. In a domestic violence case, prosecutors may need to follow the wider course of conduct rather than isolated incidents, even where some appear minor in isolation in a particular situation.

Physical or sexual assault, stalking, harassment, criminal damage and threats may also amount to separate offences. A coercive control charge reflects the wider course of behaviour rather than replacing charges for individual incidents.

The maximum penalty for controlling or coercive behaviour is five years’ imprisonment.

What does “personally connected” mean?

The offence applies where the people involved are, or have been:

• Married or in a civil partnership
• Engaged to marry or enter a civil partnership
• In an intimate personal relationship
• Parents of the same child
• Members of the same family

An intimate or family relationship does not have to involve living together, or being in a sexual relationship. Dating and other circumstances involving personal or emotional intimacy may also be covered.

Since 5 April 2023, former partners and family members no longer need to live together for the offence to apply. This means coercive control can continue to fall within the offence after separation. The change does not apply retrospectively to behaviour that took place before that date.

What counts as a “serious effect”?

The behaviour must have a serious effect in one of two ways:

1. It causes the person to fear that violence will be used against them on at least two occasions.
2. It causes serious alarm or distress that substantially affects their usual day-to-day activities.

A substantial effect might include:

• Withdrawing from friends, family or social activities
• Changing jobs, working hours or routes to work
• Altering eating, sleeping or exercise habits
• Taking additional security measures at home
• Avoiding appointments or support services
• Changing how the children travel, attend school or spend time with others
• Experiencing a decline in physical or mental health, including PTSD and major depression

There is no fixed test based on how a person is expected to behave. Someone may continue working, caring for children or maintaining parts of their usual routine while still experiencing serious harm.

The court and prosecutors will consider how the behaviour affected that particular person over time, even if they did not immediately acknowledge what was happening or how serious its effects were.

What Are Examples of Controlling or Coercive Behaviour?

Coercive control can take many forms. The behaviour is often tailored to the person’s finances, relationships, work, health, children or other circumstances.

No single example automatically proves coercive control. The important question is whether the behaviour forms part of a repeated pattern.

This may express itself in a number of ways:

Isolation and monitoring

Isolation can make someone more dependent on the person controlling them and reduce their access to outside support, leaving the person dependent on the abusive partner for contact and daily decisions.

This may involve:

• Preventing or discouraging contact with friends and family
• Starting arguments before social events so plans are cancelled
• Moving away from established support networks
• Insisting on attending appointments or private conversations
• Checking calls, text messages or social media accounts
• Making demands to report back constantly or follow detailed instructions about where they are and who they are with
• Demanding passwords, photographs or location updates
• Tracking a phone, vehicle or smart device
• Questioning how long everyday journeys or tasks have taken

Some of this behaviour may be presented as concern or protection. It becomes more concerning when it is used repeatedly to supervise, restrict or punish the other person.

Financial control and economic abuse

Financial control can limit a person’s practical ability to make decisions, obtain advice or leave a relationship, and restricting money and practical resources can make a person feel unable to leave.

Examples include:

• Taking control of wages, benefits or allowances
• Restricting access to bank accounts
• Providing a strict budget for basic needs
• Demanding receipts for routine spending
• Monitoring credit cards or online banking
• Preventing the person from pursuing desired work, study or training opportunities
• Creating debt in their name
• Withholding money for food, transport or the children
• Hiding assets or other financial information
• Making financial threats if the person does not comply

One partner managing the household finances is not, by itself, coercive control. The distinction is whether the arrangement has been agreed freely or imposed in a way that removes the other person’s access, information and independence.

Rules about everyday life

Healthy relationships involve compromise. Coercive control is different because one person’s preferences become rules, with consequences if the other person does not comply.

The rules may cover:

• Where the person can go
• Who they can see or speak to
• What they wear
• When they eat or sleep
• How they manage the home
• Whether they can work or study
• Which medical services they can use
• Whether they can drive or use transport
• How they care for the children

A person may begin asking permission for ordinary activities or changing their behaviour in advance to avoid criticism, threats or punishment. That gradual loss of autonomy is a common sign of coercive control.

Threats, humiliation and intimidation

Coercive behaviour may also be maintained through fear, shame or damage to the person’s confidence.

Examples include:

• Repeated name calling or malicious put-downs
• Telling someone they are worthless, unstable or a bad parent
• Humiliating them in front of other people
• Threatening to take away the children
• Threatening children, relatives, pets or other loved ones
• Threatening to reveal private information
• Threatening reputational or professional damage
• Damaging property or valued possessions
• Blocking doorways or using physical intimidation
• Threatening self-harm to stop the person leaving

Gaslighting may form part of this pattern. This can involve lies, denial of facts or rewriting events until the person begins to doubt their own judgement.

Sexual and reproductive control

Sexual or reproductive control may form part of a wider pattern of domestic abuse.

This can include:

• Pressuring or forcing someone into sexual activity
• Threatening sexual violence
• Restricting access to contraception
• Refusing to use an agreed form of contraception
• Pressuring someone to become pregnant
• Forcing or pressuring someone to end a pregnancy
• Preventing access to fertility treatment or medical services
• Repeatedly threatening to disclose someone’s sexual orientation or medical information

Where sexual assault or another offence may have taken place, that behaviour can be investigated separately as well as being considered within the wider pattern of coercive control.

Can Coercive Control Continue After Separation?

Coercive control does not necessarily end when a relationship ends. In some cases, separation removes the abuser’s direct access to the other person, but leads them to use new ways to maintain power.

Post-separation coercive control may include:

• Repeated calls, messages or unwanted contact
• Monitoring a former partner’s movements or online activity
• Using friends or family members to pass on messages
• Withholding money or refusing to provide financial information
• Interfering with work, housing or new relationships
• Making threats about reputation, immigration status or private information
• Using arrangements for the children to create repeated conflict
• Making unnecessary or repeated legal applications
• Ignoring court orders or agreed boundaries

The CPS recognises that repeated litigation or applications to vary restraining orders or child arrangements orders may be used to continue controlling or coercive behaviour. This does not mean that every disputed application is abusive. The concern is where legal proceedings form part of a wider pattern designed to intimidate, exhaust or control the other person.

Where controlling behaviour continues during divorce or proceedings involving children, a structured legal approach can reduce opportunities for further abuse. This may include communication through solicitors, clear court orders and safeguards around contact or handovers.

Some people describe this type of behaviour as narcissistic abuse. However, a medical diagnosis is not needed before legal action can be taken. The court will focus on the conduct, evidence and effect of the behaviour. Our narcissistic abuse solicitors provide advice on divorce and children cases involving persistent patterns of control, manipulation and conflict.

How Can a Family Law Solicitor Help?

A family law solicitor can assess how coercive control affects your immediate safety and your wider legal position.

At JMW, we can help by:

• Advising on non-molestation and occupation orders
• Preparing urgent or without-notice applications
• Presenting the pattern of behaviour clearly to the court
• Advising on divorce and financial proceedings
• Addressing financial control and incomplete disclosure
• Seeking safe, child-focused arrangements
• Managing communication with the other person or their solicitor
• Requesting protective measures during hearings
• Working alongside criminal lawyers and specialist support services where appropriate

Coercive control cases often involve several connected issues. For example, someone may need immediate protection while also dealing with the family home, access to money and arrangements for their children.

We take a structured approach to these issues. The aim is to reduce opportunities for further control, protect your position and establish workable arrangements for the future.

Further Reading

For more information about coercive control, domestic abuse and the support available, see:

• The official CPS guidance on controlling or coercive behaviour
• SafeLives' guidance on coercive control
• Women’s Aid's guidance and statistics on the frequency of coercive control