Divorce and separation can be challenging at any time, but the breakdown of a relationship later in life presents unique practical and emotional considerations. With increasing divorce rates among the older generations, those separating must be aware of the nuances this brings. Here’s the top 3 slip-ups we see from so-called “silver splitters”.

1. Avoiding legal advice

One of the hardest steps for separating couples is taking legal advice. I’ve found this can be even harder for older couples, as it requires coming to a place of acceptance and acknowledging that you need help.

When you’ve been in a long marriage, it is understandably more difficult to accept that the person you married has changed and that you no longer share the same hopes and dreams. People put off taking advice or try to do things quickly to get it “over and done with”. I also see people taking bad advice from well-meaning friends who have been through divorces themselves.

By not taking legal advice, you are leaving yourself exposed and risking financial uncertainty. Failing to go through the full legal procedure and agreeing on a financial settlement without a court order has serious implications. Such an agreement is not legally binding and does not protect your assets from future claims by your ex-spouse.

Taking legal advice is not easy. Think carefully about choosing the right solicitor, one who you feel comfortable with and who listens properly to your concerns.

2. Overlooking assets & focusing on one solution

Separating in your later years can be an undoing of decades of hard work in building and creating a life. Many couples will have invested heavily in their “forever home” or the “retreat by the sea,” anticipating the enjoyment that would come once their working days were over. It’s easy to see why people can become fixated on where they want to live. A home is a sanctuary and can appear to offer stability at a tumultuous time. However, focusing on one solution can really serve to limit your options at a time when you need to keep all options open. Failing to consider other assets can stop you from making the best decisions for you and your family.

For example, pensions will be more significant for parties who are in their 50s and beyond, and it’s crucial to give full and proper consideration to these assets. Pensions are notoriously tricky, and it’s not as simple as splitting them down the middle. A good financial planner can help you understand the implications of your choices.

3. Disregarding health & wellbeing

With age comes health considerations, and people separating in their 60s and 70’s may face conditions that prevent them from working, or from being able to continue working as they currently are. When deciding upon a financial settlement, the age and health of the parties will be considered by the court, in conjunction with other factors such as the length of the marriage, earning capacity and needs. My team regularly sees older clients wanting to commit themselves to high-maintenance payments or expensive property purchases that will keep them working far beyond retirement. It’s crucial that individuals are realistic about their ability to earn in the future, as this will impact their financial settlement.

Underestimating the effects of health, aging, and having a “stiff upper lip” is possibly a generational trait, and older separating couples tend to put their well-being at the bottom of the list.  Divorce is a rollercoaster of emotions, and those in their 40’s, 50’s, and beyond are having to navigate this alongside times of major physical, emotional, psychological, and hormonal change. The problems older separating clients face are nuanced and varied, add into that mix various assaults on your physical and mental health because of conditions such as the menopause or declining testosterone and it’s a recipe for stress. To help with this, I’d always suggest you seek a good therapist and surround yourself with the right support network.

Those divorcing later in life shouldn’t be put off by the mistakes discussed above. Divorce can bring unexpected positives at any age, and with the right support and advice, there are brighter days ahead.