When people first speak to a divorce lawyer, they are often looking for two things: clear legal advice and a bit of reassurance that what they are feeling is normal. Divorce can be emotionally exhausting and at times, overwhelming. It is very common to arrive at a first meeting with a long list of questions, some legal, some financial and some deeply personal.

Below are ten of the questions we are asked most often by clients at the start of the process, together with some straightforward answers about what might happen in practice. Every family is different, so this is general guidance rather than a substitute for tailored advice, but it should help you understand the key issues and what to expect.

1. How long will the divorce take?

In England and Wales, the divorce itself has a minimum timescale of around six months because of the statutory waiting periods built into the no-fault divorce process. In reality, many divorces take longer, particularly where financial arrangements or arrangements for children need to be resolved.

2. Can I stay in the house?

Often, yes, at least in the short term. If the family home is owned or rented in joint names, both spouses will usually have rights of occupation. Even where the property is in one person’s sole name, the other spouse may have matrimonial home rights that can protect their position. The longer-term question of who keeps the house, whether it is sold, or whether one person buys the other out is usually dealt with as part of the financial settlement.

3. What will happen to the children?

For most parents, this is the most important question of all. The court encourages parents to work together to come to an arrangement that is in their child’s best interests. That usually means looking carefully at where the children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent, how handovers will work, what happens during school holidays and how important decisions will be made. Many parents are able to agree arrangements between themselves, sometimes with support from solicitors or mediation. If agreement is not possible, the court can be asked to make a child arrangements order.

4. Does it matter that they cheated?

Since the introduction of no-fault divorce, it is no longer necessary to prove adultery, behaviour or any other form of blame to obtain a divorce. Understandably, infidelity can matter hugely on an emotional level, but it will not usually affect the financial settlement or the arrangements for children. This can feel frustrating, but it also means the legal process can focus less on blame and more on practical outcomes.

5. Will I get anything from the business?

A business can be a significant matrimonial asset, even if only one spouse owns or runs it. The court will look at what the business is worth, how and when it was built up, whether it generates income, and whether extracting money from it would damage the business. In many cases, the aim is not for both spouses to become involved in the business, but to understand its value and ensure the overall financial settlement is fair.

6. Will we have to attend court?

Not necessarily. Some separating couples resolve finances and arrangements for children without contested court proceedings, through negotiation, solicitor-led discussions, mediation, or arbitration. Court is sometimes necessary, particularly where there is a lack of disclosure, a significant imbalance in power, safeguarding concerns or one person simply will not engage.

7. Do we have to split everything 50/50?

Not always. Equal sharing is often the starting point for matrimonial assets, particularly after a long marriage, but the court’s objective is fairness. That means looking at needs, income, housing, pensions, the standard of living during the marriage, the length of the relationship, contributions and any relevant circumstances. In some cases, fairness means equality; in others, it does not.

8. What happens to pensions?

Pensions are often one of the most valuable assets in a marriage. They should not be overlooked simply because they are not immediately accessible. Depending on the circumstance’s pensions may be shared or offset against other assets. Specialist pension advice is often needed on the true value of a pension and how it should be divided (if at all).

9. Can my spouse hide money or refuse to disclose information?

Both spouses are expected to provide full and frank financial disclosure. If one person fails to disclose assets, gives incomplete information or appears to be moving money around, there are steps that can be taken to obtain documents, ask questions and, where necessary, involve the court. Non-disclosure can have serious consequences and can undermine any agreement reached if it later emerges that the financial picture was incomplete.

10. What should I do first?

Before taking any major steps, get clear advice about your position. That does not mean you have to issue a divorce application immediately, or that matters must become hostile. It simply means understanding your options, protecting your position and making informed decisions. It can also help to gather basic financial information, think about what arrangements would work for the children, and avoid making promises or agreements under pressure before you know what a fair outcome might look like.

There is no such thing as a silly question when you are going through a divorce. The decisions you make at the beginning can have long-term consequences for your finances, your children and your peace of mind. Good advice should give you clarity, not add to the noise.

At JMW, our family law team regularly advises clients on divorce, financial settlements, child arrangements, business interests, pensions and complex asset structures. If you are considering divorce, have already separated or simply want to understand where you stand, contact our specialist family law team for a confidential initial conversation. We can help you make sense of the process, protect your position and plan your next steps with confidence.